Words so simple
by Rena and her awesome self
Summary: Japan loves, but he shouldn't. China realizes he loves someone who he feels he shouldn't. Their relationship is strained, and complicated but; a few simple words can do so much. A valentine thing I wanted to write. China x Japan.


I do not own hetalia, if I did, then I would change all the characters to girls and there's my school life.

Late happy valentines? Yeah… four people asked to be my valentine. All were people from school. I attend an all girls school… get the picture? (Well these group of boys came to ask me and my friend for their friends.)

Luke and Carl stop saying "I love you" to me. PLEASE.

Kill me if the relationship is completely wrong.

* * *

Although it was bitterly cold, the sun was still shining. The time of year where it was nearing spring but still in winter. The first signs of winter leaving were appearing, but it was still sending the world a few goodbye gifts on its way such as cold winds a few frosty days with occasional sleet to annoy people.

China was up already, ignoring the urge to go back into his warm room. It was time to do some work around his country such as getting ready Chinese New Year. He looked at his calendar and saw a red dot on the 11 Feb.

"I wonder what that is…" He muttered as he thought about whose birthday it could have been.

In truth he did know it was in fact, Japan's birthday. He had been trying to ignore it but it just crept back into his head. Yao opened his door and stepped outside for a refreshing but chilly breeze. The fact that he could hear Japan getting ready to celebrate his birthday didn't help him forget either. There were shouts from Italy who had gone over to help, and commands from Germany. He was sure that America and England were there too along with many other such as Greece and Turkey.

There were so many people Japan knew and had relations with, but he hardly spent time with people from his own continent. China wondered where the times where they were living together and on good relations went. He wished they would come back.

"Are you stupid?" asked a familiar voice.

China turned and saw Hong Kong standing behind him who looked a little bit annoyed as he pulled him in and closed the door. It was freezing and his brother had been stupid enough to get some freezing winter air.

At that moment, Taiwan walked into the kitchen with them, looking a little bit sleepy still, but her face brightened when she saw the calendar they displayed on the counter.

"It's Japan's birthday today! Let's go with everyone to see him!" She suggested, all sleepiness seemed to have disintegrated.

Hong Kong just nodded as he went to go find something to eat in the fridge and Taiwan was looking at China expectantly. Normally Taiwan told China to leave Japan alone, but it was his birthday, so she wanted Asia to be there as well. Japan had so many friends out of Asia, and she missed him.

"I'm busy. Go with everyone else." China replied.

Taiwan wasn't that surprised, and sighed as China went off somewhere. Taiwan turned to Hong Kong. He raised an eyebrow and she just shrugged again. Usually China went on about how much he wanted Japan to come back and be friends with Asia again.

--

Japan smiled sheepishly as everyone made a fuss out of his birthday. He didn't really plan on having everyone help him prepare, but they all did anyway. His birthday was a fun occasion where he would spend time with his friends but he never saw China attend.

He had actually held some hope that China would just quickly greet him happy birthday before leaving again, but he wasn't there. It made Japan upset because he really wanted his "brother" to be there. Sometimes, he wondered if he even considered him a brother anymore. Something changed about the way he saw him. The fact they didn't speak and avoided each other somehow made Japan starve for his attention. He wanted his love. It was wrong for him to love but he wanted to say sorry before he could move on and consider him as someone who he worthy enough to love. Although he felt like he was breaking his own rules already because he was always falling deeper into love each time he occasionally saw China. His face flushed sometimes just thinking about the days when they were together and how they were wasted before. Oh how much he wanted them back to spend with he person whom he wished to hold affection for.

"And the preparations are done! Now everyone just needs to get here!" America announced.

The people helping cheered before going to get some drinks and relax while waiting for everyone. Japan went outside and was looking into his koi pond. He crouched down and ran his hand through the freezing water. There were so many people whom he felt something for and held affection for him back, but as Japan looked at his reflection in the icy pond, he felt so strange. He didn't deserve all that love because he was someone who they couldn't trust. Japan had betrayed his brother. They weren't related by blood, but China would always say that they were closer than brothers because of the loving bond they held.

"Japan~! It's your family!" Italy called out into the garden from inside the house.

Japan stood up and looked inside. He saw the younger ones of Asia such as South Korea, Hong Kong and Taiwan with the slightly older ones such as Tibet, Thailand and Vietnam. He was hoping to see China even though he knew that wasn't going to happen. It was a nice feeling to know that the others came but he suddenly felt depressed and didn't think he deserved anyone to be with him.

"Happy birthday Kiku!" Taiwan greeted happily, running to him and pulling him inside.

Soon everyone was crowded around him, talking joking and greeting, but he was really paying any attention to them.

Before he even knew it, his birthday was over and everyone had gone home already. Japan sat outside with Pochi on his lap who was warm in his coat of fur. The moon wasn't out that night but Japan remembered when he watched the moon with China. He was kind of glad that it wasn't out.

It was an endless amount of hours before Japan decided to go back inside his house and rest. Pochi had fallen asleep long ago and was curled up inside. His birthday had ended and he felt as old as ever.

---

China stretched and smiled. It was the 14th of February. It was Chinese new year and he was feeling way better. He tried to forget whose birthday it was just a few days before to celebrate the birth of another year.

Hong Kong and Taiwan had gone to their own houses after they went to Japan's house but China could hear them coming back in. He let them come in anytime since they were all China in a way.

He could hear them talking as they were moving around.

"Japan seemed a little down at his party…" he heard Taiwan say.

"But doesn't he always look like that?" Hong Kong replied.

"You're one to speak." She retorted.

China felt bad. Maybe he should have gone just for a small present but he thought that perhaps that Japan would feel worse with him there. There was no way if he went, Japan would suddenly feel happy. Anyway, he didn't really care much. It was new year and he had to be celebrating, not trying to comfort someone who didn't even look him in the eye.

China went to the entrance of the house, passing Hong Kong and Taiwan in a rush. He needed to go get ready, not think about pointless things.

It was still cold and China wrapped his red scarf around his neck. the local market was getting ready for people to come for it was still early morning and China decided to go see what the main city was doing. Just something to take his mind off things.

The shopping district was of people and there were great decorations everywhere. China found himself walking into the shopping mall and walking through a few shops, looking at a few things before leaving. It was a pleasant time.

Eventually, after China had been looking at things, (mainly food) he wandered over to the sweet section where it was full of candies and chocolate. He walked around and remembered Japan when he saw a box of some of his candies. China sighed and might as well have gotten him a box of chocolate as a belated birthday present.

He picked it up a random box which looked expensive and went to the counter to buy it. They asked if he wanted it wrapped- which was convenient for him. He replied yes and walked out with the box.

He had no idea what type of chocolate he had just bought but it didn't really matter for him because he hadn't really been planning it anyway. There was no feeling of guilt for not bothering because for some reason he just felt like he wanted to stop caring. Japan probably still hated him and China would gladly forgive him if he asked, but he didn't ask him yet.

While walking on his way back to his house, China decided to go give Japan his gift quickly before going to celebrate with his people. Holding a box all day or leaving it and forgetting it was inconvenient so it was best to go give it.

China took the shortcut to Japan and found his way to his house. It was quiet and clean. China tried to imagine the party he wasn't invited to and what it would have been like if he was there- not like he really cared.

Well, that was a total lie.

One of Japan's housekeepers spotted China looking at the house from outside.

"Ah, I'll go call Kiku-dono!" She called as she went to fetch her master.

China wasn't prepared, but there wasn't anything to prepare for. He didn't know why he was worrying himself about that.

When Japan heard that China was waiting for him outside holding a sort of wrapped box, he felt happy yet, he felt he didn't deserve to be visited by him. It felt wrong even though he was feeling the happiest in awhile. A smile was on his lips for the first time since he had started to feel depressed on his birthday in the garden.

He made his way out to see China, there in the beautiful sunlight. He wanted to tear his eyes away because he felt unworthy of looking at him for what he had done.

Japan regained his plain face and put his head down as he walked, for he didn't feel as if though he was allowed to look at something so wonderful. He had been stupid for attacking him, but something just happened to him. Japan regretted it.

"Oh Japan. Here." China said as Japan reached him.

He noticed how Japan didn't look him in the eye and felt upset. He really hated him so much, he couldn't bear looking at him…

Japan was surprised to find a box of chocolate in his hands.

"What is this for? Is it for…" Japan started, forgetting he thought that he was unworthy to even be in the same continent as China.

"You know what it is. What else would it be for?" China said too early forgetting what day it was.

Before Japan could process what just happened, China left already feeling flushed. He hadn't seen Japan in a long time and when he finally looked at him so closely for the first time in years, he noticed how handsome he had become. then he realized, he had been so handsome all along. It was no wonder so many other countries had a thing for him. The person who he used to consider his little brother had changed in his eyes for a long time, but he didn't admit it. He had been wanting to see him as a lover but their relationship was so screwed up there was no way it would happen.

Japan went back into his house and ran to his room with the box of chocolates. He opened them and found love heart shaped truffles inside. It was valentines day. Was China telling the truth? Or was he messing around with him? His expression seemed serious enough.

The nation smiled and closed the box, bringing it to his chest.

He was finally allowed to see China as someone he loved. China had forgiven him didn't he? After all, he did give him a valentines present which meant that he loved him. Japan closed his eyes letting the tears of relief find their way out of his eyes as they closed.

---

China had been thinking about Japan's face and all the other time he saw him. That day, he realized he had loved Japan. It was as if though he was suddenly hit with an arrow of love, but that only triggered the realization. He was probably well in love with him ages before that.

At the next meeting, their eyes met for a second as the other had tried to sneak a peek at them at the same time. Both tore their eyes away and blushed deeply, hoping everyone was too busy to notice.

Japan stopped glancing over to China in case he would catch him again, but China couldn't stop staring at Japan. His never realized before how attracted he was to the man and now he did, he just couldn't stop looking.

Japan kept his head looking at his hands on his lap, nervously as he didn't want to look up and find a glare from China. He had gone back to his suspicions that maybe it was just a joke and he wanted to see what reactions Japan would get. He realized that it really wanted because he loved him.

"That concludes this meeting." Germany announced.

As soon as he said that, Japan stood up and left the room straight away. China noticed his haste to leave the room and thought maybe he had found China's late birthday gift offensive. As everyone shuffled out of the room or lingered around, China found himself looking for Japan to say sorry for the gift and actually greet him happy birthday.

Japan had stumbled across a wonder bed of chrysanthemums and was admiring them gently. It was still breezy and the wind made him have to fix his hair in place with his hand.

At that moment, China had found him. It was a beautiful sight. One of the most beautiful people he'd ever seen, was standing with a light breeze brought petals flying through the air. Japan turned to face him with half lidded eyes which widened when the breeze stopped.

He bowed and turned away to leave but China had caught up and grabbed his wrist. Japan turned surprised, his heart was thumping inside uncontrollably. He pulled away forcefully but stayed in his place instead of trying to run away. The awkward silence was too much. China didn't live for years _knowing_ he loved Japan, so he didn't have control like him. Japan had lived knowing he was in love with China but trained himself to think of himself as utter scum who didn't deserve love so he could control his feelings.

"Japan… no, Kiku. Umm did you like the chocolates?"China asked unable to speak properly.

Japan's eyes widened in shock. He had really meant to give them to him. China's face was deep red. The younger of the two nodded shyly, not saying a word as if though he was afraid that the dream would disappear if he spoke.

"Sorry your birthday present was late." China added smiling at his love.

"Birthday…?" Japan repeated slowly

China nodded, his face still red.

Japan's face fell and tears threatened to escape. He had been hoping for to much. He hadn't even asked for forgiveness because he hadn't thought of himself worthy enough to speak to China, so how could China love him in the first place?

"It wasn't for…" Japan whispered, letting the words fade.

China was confused but upset at seeing the tears form in the other's eyes.

"I'm sorry! I should have gone with everyone to see you on your birthday, but…" China couldn't find an excuse.

Japan shook his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. He felt so stupid and wanted to die from embarrassment. He was seriously happy that China had given him chocolates on Valentines Day, but it was just a belated birthday present.

"Yao-nii…" Japan let himself say.

The nostalgic words brought a warm feeling to China. The way he said the words sounded like he almost… loved him.

"I'm sorry for when I hurt you… I don't deserve forgiveness… I'm a disgusting creature. I harbour feelings of love I shouldn't and I even held hope they were being returned." Japan cried, letting the feelings fall out.

China was quick to hug him. He felt jealous of the person he loved and so much pity for his brother. It felt wrong to call him that though. They weren't brothers, but even so, it felt like incest.

"I wasn't that all angry at you Kiku. I've always though you never said sorry because you were proud of your actions… but I forgive you. Even if this person who you feel you shouldn't love doesn't love you, I love you." He whispered into Japan's hair.

Japan thought he was still being thought of as a younger brother, not someone who China could love like _that_. He wanted to show China he was strong, so he hurt him. It was the most stupid thing he had ever done.

Japan pulled away from China's hug and his tears were streamed down his face. There was pain written on his face and he still seemed like he shouldn't have existed. He didn't feel as if though he should have been forgiven. He should have been embraced by China. He shouldn't get to hear those beautiful words he had dreamed of.

"I love you." Japan repeated he words before adding his own. "I love you more than you do to me. I don't want to be your little brother! I've loved you in a different way all this time! I don't deserve to be loved in any sort of way by you! I should suffer for the things I've done!"

China felt tears streaming down his own face. He really loved the person in front of him… ever so much. His chest hurt just looking at him. Japan hated himself, when he had no reason to.

"I love you more than you think." China muttered into Japan's ear as he close the gap between their bodies and pressed their lips together.

They kissed for what felt like forever, but it was wonderful. The feelings of love over all the years were being transferred through an action so simple, yet so passionate, not as intimate as others would be. Love didn't need to be so complicated. Over all the years of hate, love, confusion and many other feelings, it ended up being the same thing as anyone else's words would be and if it were in any other circumstances.

I love you.

Simple, no?

* * *

I EPIC FAIL! Well thank you for reading. I forgot half the things I wrote in that so many feelings may contradict each other. Just a valentines thing I wanted to write.


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